World Cup 2010: President Obama, Please Stay Home

Maybe you’ve heard that South Africa’s police commissioner, General Bheki Cele, said he’ll be rooting against the U.S. in the World Cup this year. This was in response to Barack Obama saying he might drop by if the yanks do well. Citing overwhelming security concerns, Cele hopes the President will just stay home.

While the U.S. women’s team won their World Cup in 1999, the men have only made it to the elimination round once since 1930 (according to Wikipedia). I think this year might be different….

Last summer the Confederations Cup was held in South Africa and was considered a preview the World Cup. In one of the biggest sports upsets last year, the U.S. beat top-ranked Spain. It was a decisive victory and the U.S. went on to the finals against Brazil. They scored two quick goals in the first half and gave up three in the second. No, it wasn’t the World Cup, but this performance suggested that the U.S. might finally have an offense.

The U.S. will have already played in most of the World Cup venues, making South Africa somewhat familiar. They’ll also be prepared for those horns that sound like agitated bees.

The first match is against England, who’s stacked with talent and has arguably the best player in the world, Wayne Rooney. Lately though, they’ve struggled on the world stage and there are a lot of expectations for them to do well – even win the whole thing. Maybe the pressure will be too much. England’s also had some TMZ-worthy drama in the locker room, or should I say bedroom. I’m hoping they’ll be distracted.

The other teams in the group (Algeria, Slovenia) are beatable and I think the U.S. will do well in South Africa, at least in the beginning.

So President Obama, I still support you, but agree that for safety’s sake, please stay home. It’s not like soccer is even close to our national pastime. In fact, when I was growing up people called it a “commie sport” and surely you’re distancing yourself from anything remotely socialist right now.